The power of silence
“When you stop talking, you give back control to where it belongs – the client.”
This week I have been celebrating, over the last few years whilst working at NW ADASS, I have been working with colleagues across the North West (NW) to make coaching and mentoring available to colleagues in the public sector. At the launch event of the Coaching Hub on 4th June, I was lucky enough to deliver a group coaching session with the delegates on ‘Silent Coaching’.
This got me thinking about the ‘power of silence’ and how in a very noisy world, it is hard to get the right-thinking space. So, what is silent coaching? Silence is not absence as this is an active coaching intervention and it reflects presence, deep listening and trust for those taking part in – it signals “you have the answer-take the space to find it” and the most powerful thing a coach can do at times is nothing!
Silence is so powerful at times and has real impact on the individual, silence creates the space for processing, integration of thoughts and personal insights. It allows the person to move beyond the surface into realisation and finding their own solutions – this to me builds personal accountability and follow-through. Through my coaching I have become a better listener – but it is still work in progress – as a massive extrovert, I love talking! I must intentionally pause and stop myself jumping in. This has enabled me as a coach to pick up more nuance, look for emotions and pick up non-verbal cues. Holding silence helps people sit with feelings instead of avoiding them and is the ‘engine room’ for personal transformation.
I have used silent coaching in several different environments – it is great for large groups, for teams working to problem-solving, and for individuals. The silence is used with intent, not passivity and can build a mindset shift, for me this is a ‘leadership superpower’ – try it out with friends, colleagues, teams – see what you think about it. Silent coaching is about trust to the client, trust in the process and trust the silence itself! Silence is a tool in my armour for coaching and I will be using it more in my consultancy work.
It has been brilliant to work with organisations like NW Employers and the NW NHS Leadership Academy to develop the North West Coaching Collaborative (NWCC) and launch the digital coaching platform for colleagues. I’m really looking forward to the next steps for the platform and getting more people involved.